What do you get if you add together 25% festive cheer, 40% Christmas pudding and 35% tinsel?
Well, we don't know either. So here are five festive facts. Yes.
1. Say hello to your Christmas food baby.
Elasticated waist bands at the ready, because each of us Brits will consume a whopping 7,000 calories on the big day - that’s almost nine tubs of Twiglets per person. To add insult to serious injury we’ll also gain around 6lbs, so good luck squeezing into that killer NYE outfit. Just stay home with the Twiglets, the Twiglets understand…
2. The main man might not be as realistic as you thought.
If Santa was to deliver presents to the whole world on Christmas Eve, he’d have to climb down 822 chimneys whilst travelling at 650 miles every second. Either he’s a badass multitasker or somebody’s been telling some porkies.
3. ‘Oh my goodness, that’s exactly what I always wanted!!’
We’re a generous bunch here in Blighty, spending millions and millions and millions on presents. So it’s depressing to discover that every year over 60% of gifts will be ill-received and perhaps even, shock horror, returned. How rude! FYI to all you festive jumper fiends out there – 27% of all Christmas knitwear is headed straight back to the shop…
4. We’re scaredy cats when it comes to the Christmas dinner.
The average British woman will not attempt their first slap up festive feast until the grand old age of 34 (what exactly is stuffing anyway?!), and here’s one for the mother-in-laws: chances are your darling boy prefers his partner’s roast to yours, ouch.
5. ‘It’s because I’m green isn’t it?!’
How The Grinch Stole Christmas is the highest grossing Christmas movie to date, earning over £175m since its release in 2000 and (true to form) stealing the top spot from the likes of Buddy the Elf and the uber-prepared Kevin McAllister. That’s right, of all the films available we choose to watch a miserable, furry and green Jim Carrey spend an hour and half ranting about how awful Christmas is. How bloody British of us.