The marker for the longest month your bank account, liver and social calendar have ever seen has finally arrived... End of January and PAYDAY is FINALLY HERE!
Money is in your account, the diet is being kicked to the curb, it’s Friday and quite frankly you have been dreaming about this day like a little girl planning her wedding day. But be careful – despite planning to drench your mouth in alcohol when the clock strikes 5, it’s important to not spiral too quickly back into the broke shadow of your party animal self that you have been the last few weeks! Below are the 10 stages of payday Friday for your enjoyment.
You have awoken, slovenly got in the shower and then suddenly you remember... YOU HAVE BEEN PAID!
The fruit and fibre at your desk is gone – you are going for the Breakfast of Champions.
Bank account transfers all over the place. Pay the bills, pay the rent – So much money being moved around it’s like Wall Street up in here.
Basically have no intention of working any more. You know what we need more of – Eleven am snacks! MONEY OUT OF YOUR ACCOUNT AND INTO YOUR BELLY.
Social invites. They start flooding in and you are making plans for everything in sight. Shall we go to Paris for a weekend in a fortnight? Sure why not - £250 is so affordable for a night out (Never going to happen).
Lunch time! Let’s all leave and go queue for a £15 burger and chips for 45 minutes at five guys - SO reasonable.
Back to work, kind of need to answer at least a few emails. Just for the pretense.
PLANS! Where are we going tonight? Let’s plan to do 8 different things even though we will inevitably never leave the pub opposite the office.
SO CLOSE. 1 hour to go!
Boyfriend arrives to pick me up.
8AM (Next Day)
Back to the day before...