An '80s Kids' Problems

3 June 2014

Being an '80s kid' I was rocking up to school in my neon pink bomber jacket & side ponytail listening to my giant Walkman. My mother had a perm back then. And she wore legwarmers. It was an era of extravagant styling & legendary music after all.

Fast-forward 30 odd years and those of us born in the 80’s are now fully-fledged adults. There’s no denying that anymore. In fact, you're absolutely an adult and old because the kids you babysat are having kids.

Being 'an adult' means we are now facing certain dilemmas. For example, I am slowly coming to the realisation that I can no longer blame my age for the disgusting drunken mess I was last night or use it as an excuse to justify my bad relationship decisions.

Without further ado, these are my ‘I’m a 80s kid so these are my problems’ problems:

1) Everybody is SO grown up

All around you your friends are getting married, having kids and buying houses with gardens. Meanwhile, you're deciding what to have for dinner.

2) You don’t feel satisfied in your career

You're not the fresh-out-of-uni-office-newbie anymore. You've worked day & night for what feels like forever so right about now you're starting to feel frustrated you're not the head of department yet. Or a partner. Or earning more money. Reality is this is a time when those born in the 80s are entering an 'in-between place', where we're not old or experienced enough to be the CEO, but we have quite a few draining career years behind us. The '80s generation' is known for wanting it all, and wanting it quickly. So we don't like this 'in-between place'.

3) The dreaded school reunion is approaching

Who even organises these things anyway? Adults hoping for a second chance of school, perhaps. I'm not sure why but I kinda dread it. Entering the school gym and being surrounded by my former peers, crushes and frenemies all clamouring for the chance to pretend how great their lives are.

4) You can no longer pass your age off as an excuse

The days of turning up to work with a raging hangover and being able to totally get away with it because ‘you’re just a kid’ or 'you don't know better' no longer makes the cut. At all. Because you're an adult and you do know better seeing you've been here many, many times before.

5) Birthdays aren’t as fun anymore

Not that long ago turning a year older used to mean something great. It meant being able to drive. Or being legally allowed to drink. Now it means nothing more than you're a year older and another year of massive expectations await. Can’t we just go back to being a kid and having McDonald’s kids’ parties all over again? Really, those were epic.

6) You can no longer eat what you want

Effing metabolism. Once we were able to act like a complete sloth and eat whatever we wanted. Now we’re sobbing into lettuce leaves cursing our former selves for being able to eat [read: not caring about the fact that we ate] all the junk food in the world. We're becoming fitness freaks, signing up to all sorts of weird classes and boot-camps, as we're learning our bodies are NOT temples.

7) Student loan repayments

Remember that time you were laughing when the student loan hit your account because you felt super rich? And any repayments seemed to be in such a faaaar distant future that they weren't even real? As if they would never happen? Yeah me too. Not laughing so much now though...

Ellen Modin

Ellen Modin