U need 2 go 2 social media #rehab if...

17 June 2014

What would we ACTUALLY do without social media? Talk to each other in, like, real life? Um, weird.

I can hardly remember a time before the internet. Since I got the first sickly taste of the World Wide Web when I was about 12, it has been too good to resist.

I'm a SMO ('social media obsessive', duh) who can’t stop checking my Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. It's like I physically can not NOT do it. If you tick off all the statements below go check yourself into internet rehab pronto. I’ll see you there.

1) You check your emails before bed

One last check of your emails won’t harm will it. Ooh a 10% off code from ASOS, but I must spend that immediately in case it disappears. *logs onto ASOS and starts a mammoth shop*

2) You check social media as soon as you wake up

You’ve hit snooze a million times already, but you’re still awake enough to check that an Earth-shattering crisis hasn’t hit your social media news feed whilst you slept.

3) You’re obsessed with memes

The internet phenomenon has taken over your life and you cannot go through the day without posting a hilarious meme to your group WhatsApp or social media profiles in the hope you’ll accrue a decent amount of likes.

4) You panic when there’s no Wi-Fi

What do you mean there’s no Wi-Fi in this very well established restaurant? *I exist in a right mood*

5) Buzzfeed is your religion

You find yourself checking this website on a daily basis and majorly ‘LOLing’ at about everything.

6) You think a 'like' is sufficient

Your friend had a baby? Someone got married or engaged? You don’t send flowers or a handwritten card now do you? Instead you click the ‘like’ button.

7) You use hashtags in normal conversations

‘OMG that was hashtag awkward’. No, it was just awkward.

8) Or you speak in nonsensical code

'CU F2F IRL gf b/c ur 4rl. YOLO.'  Just because twitter limits you to 160 characters doesn't mean normal conversations are limited to the same. Can you even imagine what our kids will speak like?

9) You’re reading this when you really should be working/socialising/doing something else

Nuff said.

Ellen Modin

Ellen Modin