10 'true' Facts About Singles

19 May 2014

‘When are you getting married?’ ‘Don't you want a boyfriend?’ ‘Isn’t it time you settle down?’ ‘Do you ever get lonely?’ Um, not sure, maybe, not really?

There’s no better time to be single than... right now? But what does come with the relationship status of 'single' is the endless questions about our 'single status'. Know what I mean?

Here are the most common - and untrue - things people think of us singletons:

1. We pull a different person every weekend

We’re single right, which must mean we hook up with a different person each week to fill the empty void of being alone.

2. We’re a bitter species who hate every loved-up couple

Yes, we simply despise everybody who is in a loving, committed relationship. Eek.

3. There must be something wrong with us

We are destined to be alone forever as we’re so sad and miserable about being single.

4. We fall in love with somebody straight away due to us being desperate for a relationship

Our plan is to always ensnare the first person who remotely shows an interest in us.

5. We’re eternally lonely

We don’t have any friends due to our single status. All we do is work and go home to bed. At least we must look well-rested?

6. We binge on comfort food.

Our two best friends are Ben and Jerry. And we all feel like mini-Bridgets. Remember that scene where she sings along to ‘All By Myself’? That’s us every night, so no wonder all single people have an abnormal fear of Alsatians.

7. Our cat is our best friend

Our companion is a ball of fluff who listens to us moan about being all alone and on whom we spend a small fortune buying scratching palaces that consume the greater part of our living rooms.

8. We have [too] high expectations

The fussy nature of single people is the reason to blame for us being so [desperately] alone. Because obviously settling and taking whatever we can get is far better than being alone. Oh those fateful words: ‘having high standards’.

9. We are non-stop party-goers

We go out seven days a week and drink as much as possible. Just because we can. Just because we were born with super livers.

10. We spend our lives on Tinder

Every waking hour of every day is spent swiping left or right to find a potential mate. Must. Find. Match.

We single people will settle down, well, when we want to settle down. But until then don’t mind if we DO go out and get drunk, when we’re really hungover, ice cream in one hand, phone with tinder app open in the other, and generally – just generally – do whatever the f**k we please.

Ellen Modin

Ellen Modin