Drinking on a diet

8 May 2014

'My belly fat is getting out of control!', 'I can’t go out tonight!', 'Honestly, I’m on a DIET!' my friend Laura wailed as she grabbed her belly podge and wiggled it in my direction while wincing at the beer in my hand.

Let’s be honest here, how many times have you felt like an absolute hefalump but continued stuffing caseloads of beer down your neck. Yolo and all that... I decided to do a bit of research to find out if it is possible to have a night out with maximum belly laughs and minimum belly roles. And here are the results:

In first place… PROSECCO*

Oh, hello 60 calories. My personal fav. Fancy a trip to the toilet during your night out and you will have already burnt off your glass of bubbles. Dance a little, and you've burnt off a few of them! Not only is this a low calorie beverage, it also makes you look elegant, therefore, increasing your chances of fabulousness on a night out. *Please note that drinking this beverage is to be referred to as ‘prosecc-o-clock’

In second place ... VODKA

We all know that vodka is a no brainer for the skinniest of skinnys at only 72 calories per shot. But, DID YOU KNOW… that swishing a little amount of voddy around an aching tooth may prove useful? Letting some of the vodka get absorbed into the gums helps to reduce in pain in an infected area (yuck). Not only that, but vodka mixed with cinnamon work as an effective mouthwash and cures bad breath! *Wahey*

In third place… RED WINE

Did you know that red wine has more antioxidants than açaí Juice? This beverage is bursting FULL of polyphenols; a powerful antioxidant. In fact, some red wine will even beat pomegranate juice and all at only 100 calories per glass. That’s pretty damn healthy.

In fourth place… BEER

Beer? Miracle worker more like! 150 calories per pint but WHO CARES? Researchers think that a few beers a day can also stave off Alzheimer’s and can reduce your risk of stroke. A study was done to 11,000 older women, and those who had one beer a day had better mental function than those who didn’t. Apparently, The Harvard School of Public Health also did a study that showed that a few beers a day might reduce the risk of stroke by thinning the blood and preventing blood clots from traveling to the brain. *Oh science* 

In 5th place… COSMOPOLITAN

I am really sorry to have to do this but… cocktails are bad for your inner hefalump. At a whopping 160 calories per tiny little glass, these sugary delights are very naughty indeed. In fact, cocktails in general are pretty calorific when being consumed in large quantities. So if you want your bum to stop sagging so much then it might be an idea to avoid the cocktail menu from now on and hit the bubbles instead!

Louise Henderson