11 Disappointing Holiday Season Things

26 November 2014

The eleven things which should be exciting over the holiday season but are inevitably disappointing...

1. New boots....


Nothing says 'new season' like 'new boots' but have you EVER bought a pair of boots which don't assault your ankles and insist on covering your tootsies in great big welting blisters? 

Of course, knowing this won't stop you buying more.


2. 'Holiday candles'...


The idea of a candle that smells of snow is always enchanting as we head into December (FYI, snow doesn't have a smell) but all holiday candles seem to blend into a hot mess of burnt cinnamon and car air freshener pine. The only things that should smell of Christmas are mince pies and turkey dinners...your bedroom does not need to smell this way. Prepare for migraines. 

3. Toasty open fires...


How many Londoners have a roaring fireplace in their home? Huddling around a radiator that you can't afford to keep on for more than an hour doesn't have the same festive feel to it. My personal fave trick is to use a hair dryer as an all over body warmer, but I am yet to see a charming illustration of the full body blow dry make it on to a Christmas card. 

4. Christmas shopping...


You flick through the beautiful gift guides in the mags and you construct the dream shopping list as you plot what to gift your nearest and dearest. Then you get to Oxford Street and realise you'd rather die. 

5. New coats...


Like new boots, we all get excited about a new coat. The problem is that it's not *actually* that cold in London. Try wearing your new coat on the tube. Go on, try it.

6. Drinks in red cups...


OH MY GOD THE CINNAMON SUGAR CANE GINGERBREAD LATTE IS BACK! Wait, hold on, this is a mug of chemically laced syrup and I am an adult.

7. Advent calendars...


Everybody likes to wake up to a square of chocolate, but WHY are so many advent calendars so brutally disappointing? Gritty chocolate that tastes of sad memories of cocoa from years gone by does not bring festive cheer. If it's not Lindt or Dairy Milk, we are not interested. (Also: is it really too much to ask to have a decent pic on the inside of windows and on the squares? We don't want a boring bell every other day).

8. Sending Christmas cards...


"Texts and emails are so impersonal, I'm going to prove my full on adult status by sending real cards this year. I've bought some lovely ones in Paperchase and now I just need to send them and OMFG HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY STAMPS ARE?!?"

9. Wrapping presents...


You've seen the magazine spreads on beautiful £16 a roll paper and homemade labels and vintage ribbons, but srsly who has time for that?

10. Going 'home home'...


You want to see your friends from school and you can't wait to laze on your old couch with your dog and home-made mince pies, but at £200 for a train ticket where you'll almost definitely have to sit on the floor for the entire journey, staying in London starts to look pretty inviting. Heaven help you if your family live abroad.  

11. Christmas ads...


We still get that exciting tingle in our tummies when we first see the Coca-Cola ad and we did do an awwwww when we first saw Monty the penguin, but every single ad being for glittery canapés or formulated purely to make us cry? Enough already. We almost want have the Hive advert back. (No, wait, nothing is bad enough to want the Hive advert back).

Poppy Dinsey Late Night London

Poppy Dinsey

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