We’ve all been there. You know that there’s still a working day of the week left but we just can’t help ourselves. A quick pint in the pub opposite the office swiftly turns into...
...one of your mates doing the splits in front of a load of strangers in a club in High Street Kensington at 3am while you decide to tell your boss why you should have his job. Always smart.
1. You wake up unexpectedly dehydrated
Omg I need so much water. Mouth feels like an ash tray. Where’s my boyfriend.. and my left shoe. *downs pint of water and goes back to sleep.
2. Getting ready for work is taking far too long
You keep stopping for little breaks in between getting your shirt and shoes on. You sat down in the shower and you have contemplated getting a taxi to work.
3. The tube journey is absolute torture
Never sweated so much in your life. You think you might pass out and you are jealous of the pregnant woman opposite you because she is sitting down and has a bottle of Evian.
4. Don’t care how much you spend, breakfast is AN INVESTMENT
You need to ensure you are hitting the three major food groups. Breakfast from McDonalds, Coffee from Starbucks and Pastries from Pret.
5. You try to conceal how terrible you are feeling but it fails miserably
“Me? Oh I’m fine I don’t feel bad at all PUT THAT BOTTLE OF WINE WE GOT FROM A CLIENT IN THE BIN IMMEDIATELY AND NEVER LET ME SEE ALCOHOL AGAIN. No yeah, I’m Fine.”
6. Work. Is. Not. Happening.
You’ve tried but you can’t even handle your Facebook news feed let alone your email inbox. It’s going to be a long day of emailing your friends gifs and looking at lunch menus online.
7. You see your mates who you were out with last night and they are just as bad
This is delightful news because now you don’t feel quite as alone. You can also discuss what the hell you were doing with that traffic cone in the photo you found on your phone this morning.
8. You remember you made plans for tonight.
The Horror. How do you get out of it? Well you can’t go. uh-uh. No way. Where is it again?
9. You’ve done no work all day but at 4.30 it all catches up with you and you are incredibly busy.
I am done. I CAN’T BREATHE FOR EMAILS. Almost in tears, your hangover fades away and you just have to power through.
10. Your mate pops in at 5 and suggests a cheeky half in the pub across the road?
And that’s the circle of life.