25 Stages of Drinking

23 September 2014

Here at Late Night London we take the pastime of drinking quite seriously – what are you gonna do? Due to this dedication we have developed a keen eye for the stages that an individual goes through as they drink, oh boy.

Stage 1 – Should I, shouldn’t I?

You are sitting in the office, watching the clock. Time is not moving quickly enough. You’re pretty tired and think you *should probably* go home.

Stage 2 – Maybe just for one…

Come 6pm you feel much more energetic. What’s one drink? Exactly. You’re heading to the bar!

Stage 3 – Order twitch

Waiting. For. Your. Order. Can. Be. Infuriating. Don’t these people know I’m thirsty?

Stage 4 – The First Sip

A-hem. Glorious.

Stage 5 – Where did my drink go?

That look down when you realise that your glass is empty and no, in fact an elf has not sneaked in and absorbed it but it was you and only you.

Stage 6 – Just one more then “that’s it”

The step between the second drink and the third is a leap, if you move to the third you are drinking, if you don’t you are consciously being good and going home.

Stage 7 – Eff it. Keep them coming!

Three drinks in and it’s a statement.

Stage 8 – Buzzing

Stage 9 – Making friends

So glad you didn't go home. Just met your new BEST FRIENDS!

Stage 10 – Making great decisions

Right about now everything is a REALLY good decision. Such as…

Stage 11 – Shots

That irrationally moment that you begin to believe the evening will be vastly improved by little glasses of devil liquid, because that always works out so well. So well.

Stage 12 – Urgently chasing the shots

Cocktails are always the answer to revolting shots, aren’t they?

Stage 13 – You’re totally not going home yet

Love life. Love life. Love life.

Stage 14 – Starting to make no sense

Effects of the cocktail-downed shots kick in. You suddenly realise your new BFF is kinda blurry. How weird. Communication is so-so at best. Perfect time to:

Stage 15 – Let the dance off start

You're just such an awesome, awesome dancer.                     

Stage 16 – "I’m not that drunk"

You pull yourself together, trying very hard to not slur your words, stumble or in any way give away your serious state of inebriation.

Stage 17 – Let's call or text the ex, great idea!

Stage 18 – Immediately regret that decision

Stage 19 – But who cares? The most important thing right now is that "I’m SO HUNGRY"

Stage 20. Can. Not. Stop. Thinking. About. Food.

Stage 21 – "I am going to continue partying all night. AAAAALL night."

Stage 22 – "I need to sleep urgently"

Stage 23 – Where. Is. The. Water.

By some miracle you have found your way to your house, into your bed. Bring water, no maybe orange juice, pasta, a small pigeon – someone help me please, I can’t use my limbs.

Stage 24 – The denial

You remember you have to go to work in 4 hours. But a little bit of sleep and you’ll feel just fine. Definitely.


There is nothing to say, nothing. We did this to ourselves.

*please drink responsibly

Ellen Modin

Ellen Modin

You May Also Like

15 Things Londoners Take Irrationally Seriously

Read More >

September Hot List

Read More >

Your Wish | Our Command

Read More >