London is many wonderful things in the sun, fun, flirty and perfect for a little mingle – it is also a couple of not so wonderful things in the sun. Let’s face it the struggle is real when it comes to London in the sun and here is why…
1. The Tube
How on God’s Green Earth is it possible that we, as a first world country, do not have air-conditioning on the underground? Even New York – which is potentially one of the worst subways ever built - h–s air-conditioning so that you are kept cool as you get lost. Do you want us to die Borris?
2. The Tube
Don’t know if we said this already but it is really HOT down there – like hotter than the legal temperature for transporting livestock hot – seriously Borris, seriously?
3. The Tube
Ok just one more, but seriously seeing as it is hot and there is no air-conditioning don’t you think the powers that be would put on a few more trains so you don’t end up drinking the backsweat of the shirted man in front of you as your leg gets stuck to the door? No Borris – you want us to suffer.
4. The Traffic
We don’t want to seem preoccupied with transport but people get a little crazy in the sun, that was a red light people – clearly the English should not sun and drive!!
5. Outdoor Space
In reality there is so damn little of it that if you don’t leave the office at 3.55, dash to the nearest terrace and stake your claim you have absolutely no hope – we get it, it rains a lot.
Only in London will you find people casually stripping off and sunbathing on a traffic light island – there is no question that every spot of sun should be taken advantage off but really people? We aren’t sure that quite so much public nudity is necessary however.
No joke, ours is worse than Beijing.
8. Heat PDA Is The Worst
Bad enough in the cool but this is something we cannot get on board with – release my hand, it’s HOT!
9. The Walking
Because public transport is basically untenable in the heat you have no option to walk. This means walking with all of the meandering idiots looking at everything in the beautiful summer sun – some of us are beelining for the rooftop, move!
10. The City
In reality the city is not a beach, it isn’t a garden and even the parks (which you basically can’t find a spare piece of grass in to sit on) are brown and depressing. The City in the heat is hot and dirty and smelly and just really depressing.