You know that feeling you get one day when you turn around and you are like ‘holy shit I grew up’. Well, either you know what I speak of, or you will. There are, of course, some key indicators that you have in fact become one of them - 'a grown'...
1. You Know The Date The Council Tax Is Due
Only seriously grown-ass people know the date that their council tax is due, it’s the 7th obviously and it weighs on you until it is done – *must set up a direct debit but have ongoing fear of commitment.*
2. You Do Proper Supermarket Shops
It’s no longer three things and a pot-noodle purchased post-hangover because the fridge is bare and you are dying, you make lists, you buy organic, you enjoy a sneaky poultry bargain.
3. Whole Foods Is Your Mecca
Where once it was a warehouse of terror you purposefully avoided, now you willingly spend time browsing in that haven of health, paying over the odds for products that make you feel mature in your choices.
4. Wine Is A Food Group
You may have enjoyed wine in your youth, or likely found it revolting and preferred harder alternatives with no ostensible flavour. That is a thing of the past, now it is all about that grape, bout that grape, no mixer.
5. Wednesday Night Is For The Sofa
If your face makes a slightly pruney-startled expression at the very idea of spending Wednesday evening out of your house, let alone actively socialising you know that adulthood has firmly settled.
6. 10.30pm To Bed Feels Late
This is an utterly rational reaction, getting up at 6.30am requires being in bed with the lights out by 10.30pm. Nothing worse than 11.18pm rolling around and the realisation that you are going to be tired in the morning dawning on you.
7. 90% Of Your Shoes Are Work Appropriate
Your eyes may still wander to the patent red peep toes or the limited edition Nike’s but the reality of £300 going on a pair that you cannot wear to the office usually settles the score on them.
8. You Actively Think About Ageing
Anti-ageing products are no longer a cute joke of the past where your using them is almost ironic. Now they are front and centre and with a serious job to do. When did our faces become tube maps?
9. Only The Best Will Do
Slumming it becomes your idea of hell. Simple.
10. You Say ‘The Good Times’
You only just realised it but you talk about ‘the good old days’ a lot more that you realised, it was so much easier back them, simpler.
11. You Know How To Bleed The Radiator
You also know what this means.
12. You Can Program The Central Heating
That shit be tricky and you know that when you were 14 no one was looking for you to know that there even was a 7am for the heating to come on at.
13. You Turn Down The Thermostat / Lights Off Every Time You Pass
Look, we know how big that Npower bill was last month – Jesus.
14. If It Says Special Offer You Are Going To Do The Maths
They think we are all idiots but gone are the days when you buy the more expensive version because it is on offer.
15. You Wash Up Immediately After Eating
To think there was a time that dishes actively sat in the sink, fowl.
16. You Are Firm Friends With A Personal Budget
Oh yes, you know what comes in and what goes out and you are not calling the rentals for financial bailouts anymore.
17. You Choose To Recycle
Possibly just because you get fined if you don’t, but still.
18. Newsnight Is A Must
Remember when your parents used to put Newsnight on and you would leave the room, if you find yourself actively selecting it as a nightly viewing option then you know that you are an adult through and through.
19. You Host Dinner Parties
Proper ones with place setting and name cards and three courses, good grief.
20. You Wear A Coat When You Go Out
It’s not about the outfit anymore it is about not getting cold.